At least make sure they are 18
Why
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
