Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
