I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
