ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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