they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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