her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
