either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize