Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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