Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize