It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
