I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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