there's paper in my vomit.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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