Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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