But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
