too bad you live with your parents still
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
