Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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