: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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