We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
