"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
