it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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