Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just want to make out with him forever
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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