She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
