That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
