): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
cat food counts as protein by the way
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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