she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
