her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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