someone get that fucking seahorse.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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