Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
