that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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