She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
