No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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