So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
