I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How does it feel to date your dad?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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