I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
