I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My ass is underappreciated
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
