Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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