she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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