Sry I called you an 8
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
