Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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