so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize