we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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