Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize