You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think my vagina is haunted
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
