He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
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I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Damn victory sex feels great
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