but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
