she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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