ugly people sure do ruin things
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
