That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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