Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
