Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
