and i looked up. we had an audience...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
