also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
