We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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