the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
