i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
