i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't deserve a penis
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
