don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
