that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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