sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
